A conflict is a natural, important and inevitable part of society and our own life. During the conflict there is tension, discomfort, inconsistence between two sides which causes negative emotions.
Steps how to overcome the conflict:
Step 1: Figure out what one side and what the other side wants.
Step 2: Understand “WHY?” Why do I want exactly it + why the other wants something else.
Step 3: Create that both sides motivate. What each side really wants. For example: during the conflict of a mother and a child both sides want to live happily. But the mother expresses a wish as concern about the child’s health – she does not want to buy him a candy, and the kid wants to experience pleasure - wants to get a candy.
Step 4: Take care of the other, but do not forget oneself. In this case – take care of the other sincerely. Remember the law of abundance, and the principle that you will win only if the other wins.
Step 5: Analyze “because” of both sides, find out the cause, where did “why” appear from? Everyone has own values and experience. It is important to ask a person, to create a dialogue with him, why he decided to behave that way. For example: the mother does not want to buy a candy, because she wants to save money or she just takes care of the child’s health and is afraid that too many candies will harm him.
Step 6: Make a decision. However, always remember that it does not have to be a compromise; you have to find a solution which inspires you, which makes you feel happy and gives the opportunity to feel happy also to the other person. The conflict is just another opportunity to understand more about oneself and the other person and to learn to live in harmony with oneself and with others!
Guidance on how to handle during the conflict:
1. Identify clearly for yourself what objective you reach for. Do you want to change the opinion of the other person, or to clarify your position, or just to let off steam?
2. Choose the right time of the interview. The conversation should not take place “hot”, when you are emotionally driven. The conversation also will not be effective if your interviewer is tired, annoyed or busy with other things.
3. Talk about the concrete behaviour, not about personal human features. For example: instead “How stupid you are always”, say: “When you do not do what you have promised, I feel wrong, I would like that you do it because it is important to me”.
4. Explain your reaction to the behaviour indicating what, in your opinion, it means and what feelings you cause (“When the report is late, I’m irritated, moreover, I am lack of data necessary for further work).
5. Formulate what behavior changes you would like. Requests must be concrete. It is inexpedient to talk about more than two changes (“I wish that you would have come home until 18:00, if you are late, warn in advance please).
6. Guarantee understanding. It is important to find out whether the other person understood what you wanted to say. Encourage the companion to retell, how he understood you. You also reask, if you understood what the other person said: “Have I understood you correctly, you are saying that ...?”
Advices on how to be tolerant to the human of the other culture:
evaluate the other culture, how you would like that your native culture should be evaluated;
do not judge values, traditions of the other culture through values and customs of prism of own culture;
try to understand the values’ core of the foreign culture;
never consider your religion superior than others;
communicating with representatives of other religions try to understand and respect the religion;
try to understand customs of cooking and hosting of other peoples, caused by specific conditions and resources of their life;
respect clothing accepted in other cultures;
do not show discontent for odours, which can be pleasant to representatives of the other culture;
do not look down the man if his accent is different from yours;
do not judge a man by the colour of the skin;
understand that every culture, no matter how small it is, has something to offer to the world, there is no culture, which has a monopoly to define standards of world culture.